Chapter Five: Tim

Sorry I haven't posted in months, I've been occupied with the joyous amount of homework that comes with high school. Anyway, I found some time to write and wrote this chapter from my personal favorite character, Tim. He's the fun one. Enjoy!

Timothy Waterburg
August 14, 2015
               “Well, well, well, what have we here?” a masked doctor strode into the room, pulling on a pair of hideous teal gloves. Seemingly indifferent to the obviously not-normal condition of James, he uninterestedly flipped through the papers on the clipboard at the foot of the stark white hospital bed. James lay unmoving on his back. I wish I could describe him as looking peaceful in sleep, but in truth he looked worried and restless, his brow frozen into a wrinkled expression of pain.
            I looked back up at the doctor, who was cryptically tsk-ing at the clipboard. I decided I did not like this bored – looking little man, what with the combination of his gross lack of concern and his condescending attitude. His dull, monotonous voice and slab-of-granite face reflected his personality. He was about as interesting as sitting alone in the rain in the middle of a dull, gray city with no more to read than another stupid vampire romance novel.
            Thea entered the room cautiously, like she was afraid of waking James. I knew she was only doing this because she wanted to believe that he would wake up at the sound of a bell. The doctor suddenly snapped to attention as she walked in, and began gravely telling me about James’s spleen or something. I rolled my eyes and told him that the state of his spleen was not concerning to me, that James’s condition was purely magical. I glimpsed the look of confusion and disbelief on the boring doctor’s face before turning to Thea’s concerned gaze.
            “Is there really something wrong with his spleen?” She looked nervously from James to the doctor to me.
            The doctor began to respond, but I quickly interrupted him “Don’t worry about it he can live without a spleen. What’d you bring for lunch?” I craftily and subtly changed the subject. She didn’t even notice.
            “He’s going to lose his spleen?! What does that mean, surgery? How long will it affect him? Will he have to stay here? Oh gosh,” she fired off questions with increasing hysteria as I reached for the paper bag that evidently contained lunch.
            “No, he’s fine, this doctor is just stupid,” I calmly reassured her as I happily munched on the burrito she had brought me.
            “Hey, you can’t talk to me like that,” the doctor retorted, offended. I wondered why he still thought he was helpful. I mean, I had already explained that James was MAGICALLLY incapacitated, not MEDICALLY. Thea quickly apologized in my stead as I leafed through my wallet to find money to pay her back for lunch. I yelled “sorry” down the hall at the quickly departing doctor as an afterthought.
            The instant I knew he wasn’t within earshot, I wrapped Thea up in a big hug and sang reassurances about being able to undo the spell. When I started getting into the technical aspects of the spell, she did a bit of crafty subject-changing herself and asked about my fiancĂ©.
            “OH I couldn’t ask for a better fiancĂ©!” I gushed, ecstatic at the thought. This was a good distraction for the both of us.
            Thea smiled, mirroring my joy. “Tell me.” She gave me a look that told me she thought I was cute. I didn’t mind. I like being cute.
            “He’s so nice, and tall, and he smells fantastic,” I began. However, my phone rudely interrupted me. “Ah, just a sec,” I told her as I went to answer it.
            “Why does your ringtone sound like that?”
            “Doesn’t yours?” I gave her a questioning look and let her listen to the sound of sneezing (which is my ringtone in case you didn’t know) for a couple more seconds before answering it.
            “Hey Tim, I was just wondering when you’d be home tonight?” The voice of an angel emitted from the device. Speak of the devil! I giggled and said I didn’t know. Daniel laughed and said okay, call him back when I found out. I had butterflies and was blushing like a girl whose crush was calling, even though I was engaged to Daniel.
            “Is that him?” Thea loudly whispered with eager eyes. I just grinned like a giddy idiot in response.
            Thea quickly snatched the phone from my hand and introduced herself. I whispered my disapproval in mock frustration as she looked straight into my eyes and mischievously smiled at me. She laughed at something Daniel said and said that “he sure is” and assuming that I am him, they are in agreement of something that I am. I greatly disapproved of this whole talking-about-me-while-I-don’t-know-what-they’re-saying thing.
            I raised my eyebrows at Thea as a warning, but she pointedly ignored me.
            After a few more minutes of these antics, Thea said her goodbye and returned my phone. “I missed this kind of fun,” she sighed happily.
Silence screamed at us as we both looked at James, who was pale and unnervingly still on the hospital bed. Gentle tears began rolling down Thea’s cheeks. She hadn’t cried since we had first brought James here about three days ago.
            I quickly leaped up and hugged her tightly. I was as panicked about James, if not more so, but I did my best to keep my historically nonchalant attitude consistent. If James didn’t wake, or worse, she would fall apart. I would have Daniel and she would have me, but a piece of Thea would perish with James. The connection they had, like a brother and a sister, but stronger; like friends of old, made them inseparable even when they were apart. The prospect of seeing the other was enough to perpetuate one’s existence, even for a century. We were a unit, we three, a family. Daniel was a happy addition, but he was new; the ancient history the three of us had bound us together; we were thick as thieves, you might say.
I loved them so dearly, I couldn’t bear losing either of them again.

Comments

  1. Beautiful chapter. No feed back, I like the POV- Ruth L

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  2. Wonderful character descriptions with your vocabulary inclusions. Great adjectives and adverbs. Here are my grammar 'corrections'.
    Paragraph #2: 'what with' ?
    P #3 replace 'like' with 'as if'
    and 'not concerning' with 'not my concern'
    P#5 - before he can live--- a period (not comma) after 'tell me' and eliminate 'for a couple more seconds' for less redundancy.
    further down - scroll scroll scroll, add Right In Front Of Me when talking about them talking about you.
    ?period after fun, not comma?
    and I was EQUALLY paniced (not as)

    replace "the three of us had" with "we had" and add "was our bond"

    I hope these comments were what you had in mind, as well as the regular kudos that accompany (or follow) this gripping tale. Thank you for sharing.
    Love.

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  5. Another howling success. I'm glad to see that you haven't changed your writing style too much, so that the thread binding the chapters together remains strong, even while each character's voice comes though in their respective POV's. I can hardly wait to find out what happens next. I'll message you with a few edits but all in all a great combination of revelation and mystery. Keep it up!

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