The Whole Truth,

I wrote this for AP lit class - it's a little scary so be warned if you don't like bumps in the night and stuff - but it's actually not too frightening. Just weird. Enjoy!

I was once asked how I knew

Presicely, without checking

that there are no more nor less than

Twelve wood steps between my bedroom and the hall.

I had no choice but tell them the truth,

The Whole Truth.

1.

I’m awake! I shouted at the Cat

she had knocked over something, downstairs

Must have

what’s heavy enough to make such a

shake-awake sound?

I listened to silence

covered back by sleep.

2.

Jarred awake by one and

Snapped to attention by the next

it was not imagination

i am awake

A coupla regular thumps

Good, old fashioned, just like Gramps used to make

just like Gramps with his bum leg

Gramps one-two slowly up-down the stairs

Silence. No Gramps.

Must be the cat.

3.

RRAP RRAP RRAP

like a big man with an insistent fist

An univited guest demanding entry

one-two-three rrap rrap rrap

I expect an intruder

there is no one but me,

Maybe the cat

I’m mild mannered enough, myself

I don’t provoke or incite

Who is on my stair?

Who wants in?

Impossible to say. I fell back asleep.

4.

One through four

Gramps doing double time

an angry conductor beating out the step

Keep with the rhythm!

I freeze.

I am numb

Movement, breath is out of the question

I am leaden

was there truly a sound?

I must deny

It could not be;

just my head playing tricks.

No reason to fear

Nothing at all in this emptysafe house

I sleep sparingly.

5.

I am wary of sleep, I try the couch tonight.

My eyes won’t close and the

knots/twists in my back are not worth it

I go upstairs.

Five bold sounds and I’m bolt upright

my bed is no longer a comfort

I am stricken, stuck all over with fear

sitting up for hours, my brain and body

clawing each other mercilessly

Do you want to be killed?

Who is at the stair?

6.

I feel as if there are icy slivers of silver

sliding through my veins,

prickling all over my affected soul

I am paralysed with terror

I fear for my life and

Find myself thinking of my ex-wife.

Where does she fit in?

She doesn’t,

Except that I wish it were her on the steps.

She wears stillettos.

7.

Racketing thumps unhinge my reason

I don’t know who to blame or what to make of it

the rattle sears down into my bones and shakes me

I cannot live like this, a caged beast

a slave to curiosity -

What is it?

a slave to fear -

Will I die?

Can’t move beyond my bed to check.

8.

I sleep with my eyes open and all my lights on

I am bloodshot

I wait for when I hear that

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD

I count

growing every night

I count my stairs every moment and know how close it is

Why does it never go back down?

9.

I can live without sleep

sleep is subjective

It’s fear I must worry about.

I could run

I should run

Live in a motel, yeah

Take a vacation

Sabatical

I stay in my house

Stay in my room

My bed is a prison and my mind a jailor

Beaten, starved and overworked

Utter disillusionment raking me over the coals

When will it end?

This waiting this

Wanting to know

What/who is there?

10.

It’s only a matter of days now.

Soon I will know who awaits me

i await them hungrily

itching like an addict

impatient anticipation

I hear the steps and I rush to see who it is but

They run up to ten before I can see

Disappeared

I know I will see them at twelve

I must! Unless

I’m gone and this is nothing

But it can’t be, I’ve waited so so so long

To KNOW who YOU are

11.

One-two

One-six

Seven-ten

Counting stops being linear

I lay on my back and I cry

Why why why me

12.

I’m worse than a bride on her wedding day.

all tears and smiles

Where are my flowers?

I count the slow count to twelve

…

The stop at the top

I crawl over cawing Wagner’s Bridal Chorus

Peer up and SEE

It’s terrible!

It’s beautiful!

“It is I; Ganrugh”

What is it? What are you? Why are you?

“Ganrugh leeches on your mind;

I possess your self control

Behold my elegant robes and greenish complexion;

I am your worst nightmare and you are

GLAD to see me.”

Of course, of course please sit down

“I will slaughter your fence sheep and consume your will

Like a hoarde of chimpanzees mauling a monkey for meat”

His seven-foot-height and drooling eyes

His six-inch-nails made of teeth

His baggy flesh hanging off horribly muscled bones

His pulled-back devil grin botox eyebrows

Facelifted cheek filled with creased anger

Last thing I experience, laughing

Before he stomps twelve more times and eats my brain

Now I’m dead